BULLYING AT A STORE
When I am bullied a national chain, it is usually possible to get results when I complain to their headquarters.
This is an account of what happened at an independent store. It is a convenience store/fuel station. I have been bullied by the cashiers numerous times when I went to this store. When I went there on 24 December 2011, this same exact pattern repeated again.
I left home forgetting my wallet. I didn't even have my cell phone with me to call for help when I get into a bad situation. I had my bag with me, and thought that I would have enough coins to pay for what I got. There was a cook on duty. I asked for an egg and cheese sandwich on a roll. I explained to the cook that I forgot my wallet and that I would like to prepay to see if I have enough coins before he begins to make the sandwich. Whenever I try to get through the process of paying the cashiers at this store, they always bully me. I usually pay the dollar figure in paper money. And then the remaining change figure in exact change. I try to pay in exact change to make it easy. If I can just pay the exact total, I can just be done with it, and not have to deal with the interaction that has to happen when trying to get change back from the cashier.
Other than the sandwich I also got an orange juice. The total I had to pay was $3 dollars and 75 cents. Because I forgot my wallet, I had to pay this all in coins. I explained this to the cook when I said I needed to prepay before the sandwich is made. At the time of payment, I explained this to the cashier. As I started to pull out coins. The cashier told me only quarters. No nickels and dimes. Before I began to even pay, I told the cashier I forgot my wallet, and she didn't complain when I said that. There were numerous occasions when I have been bullied by the cashiers when I tried to pay just a fraction of a dollar to get it to exact change. This time I had to pay $3.75 all in coins. I tried to pull out as many quarters as I can find. As I was pulling out coins she was complaining more and more. She told me there are customers waiting and that I will have to do this someplace else. I told her, "I am a customer. I am doing this exactly where I am supposed to be doing this.". I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing, and the cashier was complaining incessantly over nothing, and doing this just to bully me. I am tired of the way I am treated from the previous times I had been to this store. And here it is happening again. I told her to back off and leave me alone. Me just telling her to stop it gave her more to complain about. The cashier said "you really should not go out alone". If I was to agree with that it would be because I need witnesses to be with me. I agree with that to make my case stronger.
This is usually a simple process at other stores. I just lay down the money and it's done with. There isn't a problem. When the cashier starts to complain the instant I pull out coins, this lengthens the process, and then she complains that it is taking too long.
When the cashier is bullying me, I have to stand up for my rights and tell her to stop. This has absolutely no effect on a bully. When I told her to leave me alone, it only pisses her off to say that she is calling the police on me.
It is a very bad situation to be a male and be bullied by a female. It is impossible to tell the woman to stop bullying me. When I am bullied, and I get distressed, the woman twists it around and claims that my distress is something that scares her.
Autistic males get bullied by women. The Autistic person isn't taken seriously. Then woman lies and claims that she is the recipient of aggressive behavior that scares her. What is actually emotional distress from being bullied, a bully reverses it and claims they are the victim.
The majority of Autistics are males. There is a lot I have to say how mothers bully their Autistic sons, but that's for another document.
A bully expects you to follow a lot of ambiguous rules. When rules exist that are not clearly defined and ambiguous, the bully can push the rules more on a target that is likely to be bullied.
There are rules posted on the counter where the checkout cash register is.
Rule #2. "We are not set up to make change"
I try to pay in exact change because of the many problems that can arise when I give a payment that requires change.
Rule #3 "When paying with large amounts of coins;
Please have it rolled, write your name and phone number on it and present your ID.
We cannot accept it otherwise."
"We have the right to decline very large amounts of coins."
I have had a problem at this store when I have given money and I required to get change back. And now especially since I noticed rule #2, I find it necessary to pay in exact change. I can pay the dollar figure in paper money, and pay the remaining change in coins. But they are very anal about coins. It is possible for them to get pissed off about coins even if I am paying the exact change of a fraction of a dollar.
There are two conflicting rules about not making change, and all of there rules about coins. If I am to obey rule #2, I have to pay in exact change. I have to be able to pay in exact change without any complaints at all about the coins, and I should not have to be bullied.
There is a rule requiring coins to be in rolls. When I was there on 24 December 2011, I had no paper money with me I only had coins. The total to pay was 3.75. A roll of quarters contains ten dollars. If I am paying a total of $3.75, does that really require me to have a ten dollar roll of quarters?
They specify in the rules, that they can require coins to be in rolls, or they can deny large amounts of coins. I don't think $3.75 is a large amount of coins. This will lead to an argument with them about what is and what isn't a large amount of coins. The rule about a large amount of coins is very ambiguous. They don't specify an exact amounts of money that clearly defines exactly what they consider to be large amount of coins. They should specify the exact amount of coins that requires it to be in rolls. They should specify the exact amount of coins that they consider too large to accept at all.
Such rules still will not solve the problems because they can exercise discretion about who they will enforce these rules on.
Even if I should somehow follow ambiguous rules. And even if I should somehow follow contradicting rules, example given, when rule #2 and rule #3 contradict each other. A bully can make up even more rules on the fly off the top of their head.